Criticism
Withdrawal
One person pushes for contact while the other pulls back under pressure.
Online · Trauma-informed · NARM®-based
Couples Coaching
For couples who want to understand recurring conflict, communicate more clearly and meet each other with greater honesty and compassion.
Free 20-minute call · Online · No commitment
Couples coaching may be helpful if
You care about the relationship, but something keeps getting in the way.
You keep returning to the same conflict
One or both of you often feel misunderstood or unheard
Needs or boundaries are difficult to express
The connection feels less alive or more distant
You are navigating change or considering separation
Recurring conflict
Why do we keep having the same argument?
Often, the visible topic is only part of what is happening. Under pressure, each of you may fall into a familiar way of trying to restore connection, safety or space.
One person may reach for more contact while the other needs distance. Criticism can hide a longing to be seen. Withdrawal can be an attempt to reduce pressure.
The more each person relies on their familiar strategy, the more the pattern between you can intensify.
In coaching, we slow these moments down so you can understand what is happening beneath the reaction and what each of you is actually longing for.
Learn more about protective patterns and NARM® →
Explaining
Feeling unheard
More words do not necessarily create more understanding.
Closeness
Space
Both needs may be valid even when they seem to pull in different directions.
How I support you
Neither of you needs to become the problem.
01
We focus on what is happening now
Earlier experiences can matter, but the main focus is how your dynamic shows up today — in thoughts, emotions, bodily reactions, impulses and communication.
02
Both perspectives matter
I do not work from the assumption that one partner is the cause of the problem. We explore how the dynamic is created between you.
03
Your intentions guide the process
You may want more closeness, clearer communication, a different way of handling conflict or greater clarity about the future of the relationship.
What may become possible
More choice in the moments that usually take over.
Couples coaching cannot guarantee a particular outcome. It can create more space for understanding, honesty and different responses.
Recognise recurring conflict patterns earlier
Express feelings, needs and boundaries more clearly
Understand each other’s perspective more deeply
React less automatically through attack or withdrawal
Make more conscious decisions about the relationship
How online couples coaching works
A simple process.
The work is responsive rather than rigid, but these three steps give you a sense of what to expect.
01
Your current situation
You both describe what is happening and what feels important. We build a shared picture of where we are beginning.
02
Explore the dynamic
We look closely at specific moments: what gets activated, what happens inside each of you, and how the pattern unfolds between you.
03
Create new possibilities
As the dynamic becomes clearer, different ways of speaking, listening and responding can become available.
Practical information
Everything you need to know before getting started.
90 minutes
Couples session
Online via Zoom
Join from a quiet, private place
Income-based fees
View fees →
Why relationship work matters to me
I do not believe the goal is to keep a relationship together at any cost.
My former partner and I were together for almost ten years. That relationship taught me a great deal about closeness, conflict, vulnerability and responsibility — and its ending also shaped how I think about relationship work today.
My intention is not to lead you towards staying together or separating. It is to support both of you in listening more honestly to what feels true for yourselves and for the relationship.
More about me →FAQs
Questions about couples coaching.
What if one person is more motivated than the other?
Different levels of motivation are common. What matters is that both people participate voluntarily and are at least open to the conversation. The free clarity call can help us assess whether joint coaching feels appropriate.
Can we come if we are considering separation?
Yes. Couples coaching can support honest conversations about different wishes and a possible separation. If the process is already moving more clearly towards ending the relationship, you can also explore my separation support.
How many sessions will we need?
That depends on your situation and intention. Some couples begin with a single session, while others choose a package of three or six. We can discuss what may fit during the clarity call.
Do we need to be in the same place for an online session?
If possible, joining together from a quiet and private place is helpful. If you live separately or are in different locations, we can discuss during the clarity call whether a joint online session is technically and relationally suitable.
Is couples coaching the same as couples therapy?
No. My service is coaching and does not constitute couples therapy, psychotherapy or medical treatment. It is not a substitute for medical, psychiatric or psychotherapeutic diagnosis or treatment.
How much does couples coaching cost?
I use an income-based sliding scale. You can see the current session and package prices on the fees page.
A first conversation
See whether couples coaching feels right for you.
In a free 20-minute clarity call, you can tell me what is happening, ask questions and get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit.
Online · 20 minutes · No commitment